This is so hard and painful and at the moment I don't know how to pick myself up. It is 22 months now and I feel worse than ever.  This is not how I thought it would be in our old age.  It is something that you never, never, ever think will happen until we were much older.  I miss you so much. Yes, like everyone else we had our disagreements but I never thought of having a life without you at this early stage.  We looked forward so much to our retirement and it has been snatched from us.  Everyone misses you so much, me, your children and grandchildren.  Love you lots and lots xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx